Coronavirus Tales - A Loss During Lockdown
I wanted to take the time to write about a loss during lockdown as I know during the pandemic numerous amounts of people have been through the same tough time and if this helps someone feel they are not alone then I will feel that I’ve done my part.
Any close family member passing away is extremely difficult but to lose someone during a time none of us have ever experienced gives grief a whole new meaning. I lost my dear Nan whom I was extremely close to on March 19th and then on March 23rd Boris Johnson announced the lockdown. We all knew a lockdown was inevitable but we didn’t actually know what to expect. With things like threats of military enforcement circulating social media I thought I could even be arrested if I left my home.
I was torn away from my everyday lifestyle and the usual distractions. I wasn’t even able to see my Dad after him having to call me with the awful news. As my Nan had COVID19 on her death certificate we all had to self-isolate. I live in a separate home to my boyfriend meaning he wasn’t able to comfort me without the constant paranoia that you could be putting others at risk. I was attempting to adapt to a whole new way of life whilst suffering an enormous loss and missing the family and loved ones who would usually take the pain away.
I was lucky enough not to be furloughed and to work from home during the pandemic. My managers and team were so supportive and understood that if I couldn’t log on one day I didn’t have to, which I’m so grateful for. I must admit work has been my saviour as I recruit for a very niche market who are Key Workers and so it meant getting up, turning the laptop on, taking a lunch break and aiming for 5:30pm each day kept me in a routine so the days didn’t all melt into one (as much anyway). However, not having the conversation of others in the office, seeing a story unfold on the tube on the way to London, chatting and hugging team members the way you usually would during a hard time meant I was sat with my own thoughts whenever things would get a little quiet.
Not being able to grieve in a normal world affects you more than you would think. You would think not being able to go out and distract yourself you would sit and deal with it, but you don’t. Now as the world starts to re-open I feel myself opening up to grieve more as I come to the realisation they are really gone, that this is a new world without them in it, not one where you are just not allowed to see them due to social distance measures, lockdown or self-isolation and I feel the harsh reality of it.
I know many people who have lost something, someone or pet during this time and now things are opening up we notice life won’t ever be the same as it was prior to lockdown, although this doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
In conclusion, as we do start to move into this “New Normal” world, I would urge you don’t forget the person you’ve created during this period of pandemonium. I hope that we’re going back as slightly different people, that lockdown has made us better people, not sweating the small stuff and really treasuring every moment we get with friends and family as we know how it truly feels to have all of them taken away.
About the author: Elise Harnwell is an Account Manager at Servoca Resourcing Solutions, specialising in Probation & Rehabilitation.
Please feel free to share your thoughts on this or any of our other articles in the Comments section below and all articles are the opinions of the author.
We are also looking for future contributors to this series so if you would be interested in writing about and sharing any aspect of your pandemic esperience with us please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and we will get in touch.